Something I have been thinking about all year: change. I have been so many versions of myself. I have a partner now that watches it unfold and supports the journey. That was not always the case. When you consider a life change, what do you think stands in your way? We often think the hardest part of change is the thing itself: rolling out the yoga mat, meditating for ten minutes, or choosing sparkling water over wine. But the real first step is often quieter and much more vulnerable:

It’s saying to your partner, your friend, or your community: “I want to try something new. Can you support me?”

That’s where so many people get stuck. Because when you’re changing, you’re not just breaking your own patterns. You’re disrupting the shared patterns you have with others. The Friday-night drinks crew, the partner who loves a late-night binge, the coworker who counts on you for the 3pm coffee splurge. You want to end a bad habit, but you might not have willpower to overcome the routine that has been set for you and evolve into the new you, the one that drops that bad behavior and clears space for a new, better option.

If someone meets you with an eye roll or a dismissive “That won’t last,” it plants doubt.

But if someone says, “Yes. How can I help?”suddenly the step feels possible.

How to Be That Friend/Partner

Supporting someone doesn’t mean doing it with them (though that’s a bonus). It means:

Listening without judgment when they share what they’re trying.
Asking what support looks like instead of assuming.
Not pressuring them back into old habits. (“Come on, just one drink” might feel harmless, but it undermines trust.)
Cheering for small wins. Even a few minutes of meditation, even one night without alcohol, these are seeds worth noticing.

How to Find Those Friends

Sometimes the harder truth is that not everyone can meet you there. And that’s okay.

Notice who respects your boundaries.
Seek out communities where your new habit is normal (a meditation group, a wellness class, even online spaces).
Remember: change is fragile at the beginning. Protect it by surrounding yourself with people who don’t just tolerate your growth, but encourage it.

The first step isn’t a solo act. It’s a conversation. It can be so scary. Becoming a mom and finding your people. Quitting the vape or the shopping or whatever is in your way. It is a blockage that needs to be removed. The pressure might already feel insurmountable, so you have got to cultivate relationships that rise to meet you. It is one of the greatest supports you’ll ever have on the path of change. I hope if you know someone working towards a goal, you can be kind. Reach out, support, applaud.