For months after my daughter was born, I kept asking myself: Am I just a worried new mom, or is this something more? I'd lie awake at night checking her breathing. I'd spiral into worst-case scenarios about every little thing. I'd feel my heart racing for no apparent reason. I'd catastrophize about her health, my ability to keep her safe, whether I was ruining her already.

Everyone will say this was normal. "All new moms worry!" "You'll relax eventually!" "This is just what motherhood feels like!" But it didn't feel normal. It felt like drowning.

It took me months to understand the difference between typical new parent concerns and actual postpartum anxiety. And mindfulness became the tool that helped me recognize what was really going on.

What "Normal" New Mom Worry Looks Like

Here's what I've learned: it's absolutely normal to worry about your baby. To check on them while they sleep. To have concerns about their development, their health, whether you're doing things right.

Normal worry:

Comes and goes throughout the day
Is connected to specific concerns
Responds to reassurance (temporarily, at least)
Allows you to eventually relax or focus on something else
Doesn't completely consume you

I had moments like this too. I'd worry about whether she was eating enough, call the pediatrician, get reassurance, and be able to move on. Doesn’t it feel so good to lie some worry to rest? The lactation counselor can measure intake and give you so much information! I had no idea!

Those concerns are regular parenting anxiety. Uncomfortable, but manageable.

What Postpartum Anxiety Actually Felt Like

But I knew for me, there was this other layer. This constant hum of dread that nothing could touch. My postpartum anxiety also included:

Intrusive thoughts that wouldn't stop (What if I drop her? What if she stops breathing? What if something terrible happens?) Maybe a few more too absurd to even write here.
Physical symptoms: racing heart, shallow breathing, tightness in my chest…even when nothing was wrong
Inability to sleep even when the baby was sleeping because my mind was spinning
Catastrophic thinking that escalated immediately (She coughed → She has a cold → What if it's pneumonia → What if she ends up in the hospital?)
Feeling like I had to be hypervigilant every single second or something bad would happen and no one but me would know, not even my partner
The worry felt bottomless and reassurance didn't help for more than a few minutes

The key difference: this wasn't connected to reality. It was constant, consuming, and immune to logic or reassurance.

How Mindfulness Helped Me See It

I started practicing mindfulness not because I thought I had postpartum anxiety, but because I was desperate for any tool to manage the overwhelm. Something unexpected happened: mindfulness gave me enough space to actually observe what was happening in my mind and body. And that's when I started to see the patterns.

I Noticed the Physical Symptoms

When I'd pause and check in with my body, I realized: I was anxious in my body even when nothing stressful was happening. My shoulders were permanently tense. My jaw was clenched. My breathing was always shallow. I was grinding my teeth. This wasn't situational worry. This was my nervous system stuck in overdrive.

I Noticed the Thought Loops

When I started watching my thoughts (instead of being completely swept up in them), I saw how repetitive they were. The same catastrophic scenarios playing on repeat, regardless of what was actually happening. A mindful person might think: "Oh, there's that worry again. I've had this thought 47 times today. Maybe this isn't actually about reality."

I Noticed the Disconnect

Mindfulness taught me to ask: "What's actually happening right now in this moment?" Usually, the answer was: My baby is fine. She's breathing. She's healthy. We're okay right now. But my brain was telling me: EVERYTHING IS WRONG AND TERRIBLE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

That gap between reality and my panic showed me this was more than typical new mom worry. This was my brain lying to me.

The Practice That Helped

I started using a simple mindfulness check-in whenever I felt the anxiety ramping up:

Step 1: Pause and Notice "I'm feeling anxious right now." Not judging it, not trying to fix it. Just naming it.

Step 2: Check the Facts "What's actually happening right now?" Is my baby in immediate danger? Usually, no. She's sleeping peacefully or playing or nursing just fine.

Step 3: Feel the Feelings in My Body "Where do I feel this anxiety?" Chest. Throat. Stomach. Shoulders.

Step 4: Breathe With It Not to make it go away, but to stay present with it instead of spiraling.

This didn't cure my anxiety. But it gave me crucial information: my mind was generating fear that didn't match reality. I was able to bring my concerns to my partner, friends and family. I was able to overcome this anxiety and these super unhelpful thought patterns.

It’s important to note, once you can observe your thoughts instead of being consumed by them, you may realize: these aren't normal new mom worries. This is a mental health issue, not a character flaw. You may need to talk to your doctor and start therapy. For some women, medication is part of the picture too (and there's zero shame in that). Even with professional help, the mindfulness practices remains essential. They can give you a way to ride out the anxiety waves without being completely swept away.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

If you're wondering whether what you're experiencing is "normal," here's what I wish someone had said to me:

Trust yourself. If it feels like too much, it probably is. You're not being dramatic. You're not overreacting.

Postpartum anxiety is incredibly common. Up to 15-20% of new mothers experience it. You're not alone, and you're not broken.

It's not your fault. This isn't about not being strong enough or grateful enough or calm enough. It's a medical condition with biological roots.

You can get better. With the right support: therapy, mindfulness practices, possibly medication, community, you can feel like yourself again.

You don't have to suffer through it. There's this toxic narrative that motherhood is supposed to be overwhelming and miserable. But constant, consuming anxiety isn't a required part of the experience.

How Mindfulness Fits Into Everyday Life

Mindfulness remained a crucial part of my healing. Not as a cure, but as a tool.

It taught me:

To notice when anxiety was building before it became overwhelming
To sit with uncomfortable feelings without immediately spiraling
To come back to the present moment instead of living in catastrophic future scenarios
To be gentle with myself on hard days
To recognize the difference between a thought and reality

Mindfulness didn't eliminate my anxiety. But it gave me a way to relate to it differently. Instead of being swallowed by it, I could observe it. "Oh, there's anxiety. It's uncomfortable, but it's not an emergency. I can breathe through this."

If You're Not Sure

If you're reading this and thinking "but how do I know if what I'm experiencing requires help?" here are some questions to ask yourself:

Is the worry constant and consuming, or does it come and go?
Does reassurance help, or does the anxiety return immediately?
Are you able to sleep when you have the opportunity?
Are you experiencing physical symptoms (racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness) even when things are calm?
Are intrusive thoughts interfering with your ability to function or bond with your baby?
Does this feel different from your baseline anxiety?

If you're answering yes to several of these, please talk to your doctor or a therapist. You deserve support. And in the meantime, mindfulness can help. Not as a replacement for professional care, but as a companion to it. You don't have to figure this out alone. You don't have to suffer through it. Help is available, and healing is possible. You're not failing at motherhood. You're experiencing a medical condition that responds to treatment.

And you're going to be okay.

Looking for mindfulness practices specifically designed to support maternal mental health? I've created resources that address the real challenges of postpartum anxiety, with practical tools that work even when you're exhausted and overwhelmed.