A year ago today it was probably one of the most exciting nerve-racking days of my life.

There’s nothing that prepares you for the excitement of seeing the very thing you expected to never ever see. I went a little crazy with the multiple tests that I took watching the two lines get darker and darker, in total shock.

Some of the classic warning signs were there, in hindsight I was so surprised I’d missed them. When I finally had an inkling, I’d gone out to dinner with a girlfriend and had a glass of wine and thought maybe something was wrong with it because I couldn’t even finish it. I had a sip and it just tasted so off. It made me immediately extremely tired and uninterested in my meal. I didn’t finish the wine and I even apologized and said “I need to go home” kind of abruptly. I went home and slept for maybe a 10 or 12 hour stretch which is super unlike me.

I think the sleeping was probably the main symptom but ironically because of Covid I assumed that’s what was going on at first and definitely was watching out for other signs of sickness, testing my taste buds and my sense of smell and other things that I’d heard to be Covid symptoms but I didn’t have any of those… Eventually I figured there’s only one thing that it might be and I took a pregnancy test. During my TTC journey I had bought many test strips, they sell in huge quantities on Amazon, something you’d maybe only be familiar with if you’ve been on a similar path. I still had a few of those and I thought I saw a double line the first time I took it and then I eventually end up taking five or six more to be sure. They tell you to test first thing in the morning but I was testing every single time that I had a full bladder and I was convincing myself at first but then yes, there was no mistaking the faint lines were getting darker.

My husband was actually in San Antonio visiting his grandmother and as much as I tried to hide my excitement all I could end up mustering was a “you need to come home ASAP” message so that he didn’t spend any time on his way back making any extra stops. There’s not much you can do that doesn’t give it away so of course he kind of knew what was going on and he showed up pretty quickly afterwards with a smile on his face and a iPhone note sheet of potential baby names, laughing with an ecstatic, hopeful grin about this breaking news.

Being able to share this post on his birthday and the fact that I told him on his birthday last year is extra special to me because one of the things I really love about being married is experiencing this with him. Obviously something that neither of us have done before: the highs and lows of the journey but also the excitement and the thrill that we felt for this day and probably 2 to 3 months into the future when everything started going smoothly and we could trust and believe that the baby was here to stay and that this was a thing that was happening. I love being married and love the partnership we have. We stepped warily into the unknown and I have loved every minute since especially with him as my partner through it all. I’ll never forget the first few minutes, hours, and days where it was only he and I that knew our incredible secret.

Photos: The cat knew before I did, my first selfie pregnant, our last photo together before we knew we were pregnant (on vacation in the UP), all the tests the first few days.